I have written in previous articles about how crucial connection is and how we can learn to create positive relationships after trauma (including even creating families of choice).
I have also been thinking a lot about a unique type of connection: the therapy relationship. I have heard and firmly believe that a huge piece of what works about therapy IS the relationship. Sharing your inner self (selves) and what makes you feel vulnerable in the context of a healthy relationship can be transformative.
That this is challenging for those who have already been betrayed and traumatized in the context of relationships is a huge understatement. Sometimes it may seem to trauma survivors that in order to heal they must do the very thing they fear most: trust someone else.
I am still gathering my thoughts about healing in the context of the relationship and therapy, so stay tuned for more on that! In the meantime, a friend shared the following story and images with me. To me, it speaks to the drive for connection, how we can find it at times in unlikely places and that the capacity for love and trust can remain even after abuse and neglect.
The Story of Suryia and Roscoe
The orangutan was in a rescue and not doing well. This old hound wandered in absolutely emaciated and the orangutan snapped to like his buddy had arrived. He stayed with the hound night and day until he was well and in the whole scenario, found a reason to live. They are now inseparable.
4 responses so far ↓
Violence Unsilenced: the Need for a Witness « Dr. Kathleen Young: Treating Trauma in Chicago // November 2, 2009 at 7:38 pm |
[...] Article List ← Connection Heals [...]
JaHa // November 8, 2009 at 4:02 pm |
I can tell you from personal experience that what you have shared here is provacative, but so true, and so very pervasive that it effects just about every connection: “Sharing your inner self (selves) and what makes you feel vulnerable in the context of a healthy relationship can be transformative.That this is challenging for those who have already been betrayed and traumatized in the context of relationships is a huge understatement. Sometimes it may seem to trauma survivors that in order to heal they must do the very thing they fear most: trust someone else.” I am not “here” yet, but I can share that the journey is very difficult, filled with unimaginable fear, perhaps sheer terror, and with pitfalls like feelings, both “good” and “bad” that seem so overwhelming in every respect. I have almost dropped out a few times due to feeling overwhelmed and confused, but I will try again next week. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done, and I have yet to come face to face with the depths of it all…I hope you will share more about this therapy (healing0 relationship and how it works, and maybe how to make it easier for those of us who are clients to trust the relationship as well as the process.
Dr. Kathleen Young // November 10, 2009 at 11:38 am |
JaHa-
Thank you so much for posting.
I am moved at your apt description of just how difficult to journey to real connection feels. You are capturing it far better than I ever could in my article!
I am also struck by your courage, in choosing to try again next week. Just keep going, you are on the right path and it WILL get better. I can believe that for you even if you cannot at times!
I will keep writing about this process and welcome you input about what you’d like to see discussed!
marjakathriver // November 20, 2009 at 12:48 pm |
Thanks for sharing those delightful photos. Those pictures definitely say more than a thousand words! And thanks for allowing us to use this uplifting post for THE BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. I so appreciate your contributions.