The Heterosexuality Questionnaire

People with homosexual or bisexual orientations have long been stigmatized.  The same is the case for those who are gender non-conforming or who feel their assigned at birth sex or gender does not match their true selves.  Heterosexism is a term used to describe  the belief that heterosexuality is the norm or superior, while anything else is stigmatized or just unacknowledged. Heterosexual privilege gives unearned and unchallenged advantages and rewards to heterosexuals because of their sexual orientation. These same benefits are not automatically granted to  lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, transgender, transexual (LGBQTT) people.

The following questionnaire is intended to be a somewhat tongue in cheek, humorous look at our societal assumptions that heterosexuality is the norm and anything else must be questioned and explained.

This Heterosexual Questionnaire reverses the questions that are very often asked of LGBQTT people by straight people. The hope is that by  answering these  questions,  heterosexual people can get some intellectual and emotional insight in to how oppressive and discriminatory heterosexism can be. Curiosity and seeking to understand another is great! But many of these kinds of questions instead feel invalidating and discriminatory (especially when heard over and over).

Enjoy and please feel free to share your thoughts!


(Attributed to Martin Rochlin, PhD, January 1977)

1.  What do you think has caused you to be heterosexual?

2.  When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?

3.  Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of people of the same sex?

4.  If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn’t prefer it?

5.  Isn’t it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?

6.  Isn’t it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

7.  If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?

8.  To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

9.  Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex? Why are they so promiscuous?

10.  Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?

11.  If you were to have children, would you want them to be heterosexual knowing the problems they’d face?

12.  Your heterosexuality doesn’t offend me as long as you don’t try to force it on me. Why do you feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation?

13.  The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

14.  Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

15.  How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusively heterosexual lifestyle, and remain unwilling to explore and develop your homosexual potential?

16.  Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role playing?

17.  Even with all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiralling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

18.  How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you, considering the menace of overpopulation?

19.  There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that could help you change if you really wanted to. Have you considered trying psychotherapy or even aversion therapy?

21.  Could you really trust a heterosexual therapist/counsellor to be objective and unbiased? Don’t you fear he/she might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his/her own preferences?

22.  How can you enjoy a full, satisfying sexual experience or deep emotional rapport with a person of the opposite sex when the differences are so vast? How can a man understand what pleases a woman, or vice-versa?

Kathleen Young, Psy.D.

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10 Responses to The Heterosexuality Questionnaire

  1. Pingback: Twitted by BPDINOKC

  2. callista83 says:

    I’ve seen this before. It does a good job of showing just how ridiculous people’s questions and thoughts about the GLBTQ community are.

  3. This is great! I can think of a few folks I’d love to show this to. I’m not sure they’d get the joke, unfortunately but I suppose that’s the point.

    • kyoungpsyd says:

      Thanks for reading and commenting, CK!

      Isn’t that often the way? Those that most need information are closed to it? All we can do is plant a seed, we never know if/when awareness will grow!

      I started poking around in your blog, btw. Great information and very well presented! I look forward to reading more.

  4. Karari Kue says:

    I think to completely address privilege, we need to also address cissexual privilege and cissexism. As it stands, the survey only addresses the issues of cis LGBs.

    After all, most (not all, of course) trans people are heterosexual.

    • Kate says:

      I think that Karari, you raise a good point about the limitations of this questionnaire. However, I think the statement that most transgender people are heterosexual is unfounded. Many many many transgender people neither identify strictly as “male” or “female,” making hetersexuality impossible. Further, many transgender people understand gender to be infinitely complicated and date people of all gender identities. In the past, many cis people have said things to lesbian transgender women like “well, if you like women, then why are you transgender? Why aren’t you a man?” In this case, we assume that heterosexuality is the default. In fact, more and more young trans people simply identify themselves as “queer.”

      I think you make a really important point, and I totally support that. I just think that the statement that most trans people are hetero is probably not accurate or necessary to prove that good point.

      • Thanks for the thought provoking conversation, Karari and Kate!

        I definitely agree that heterosexual privilege is just one piece of the privilege pie. This questionnaire takes the myths and misconceptions about gay/lesbian sexual orientations and turns them around, to attempt to make a point. We could certainly do something similar with the misconceptions about gender!

        Both your comments remind me about how it is so crucial to distinguish between sexual orientation and gender identity. That someone is transgender really tells us nothing about their sexual orientation (just like if someone is male or female)!

        I also appreciate you making the point about gender existing beyond the binary only male or female, Kate.

  5. Pingback: Heterosexuality questionnaire | Iworkathomegol

  6. Reblogged this on Katherine TOms and commented:
    In honour of Toronto’s Pride Week kickoff, here’s a great post on all of the ridiculousness the LGBT community still has to deal with. I look forward to the day when the issue of a person’s sexual orientation and gender identity is as trivial as their eye colour. Until then, check out The Heterosexuality Questionnaire…

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