Change. Life is full of it and yet it is challenging for many of us. For trauma survivors, or anyone who grew up with disruptive, unpredictable changes this may be an especially tough issue.

Me? I am well aware that I do not always go with change gracefully. I had a recent reminder of this when I woke up one day last week to discover WordPress had changed my blog theme for me, temporarily removing all sorts of information in the process. Less than a week later I have a new theme, everything back in its place, and I can shake my head at  how thrown I was momentarily by the experience. I may in fact even like my new blog format better! And you may not even have noticed any difference. Certainly the blog theme change is not of the monumental sort (although if you blog yourself you may get why it had many folks in quite a tizzy). Bigger, more stressful changes happen. In fact, life is full of change. When I can remember this and go with the flow my life goes a whole lot more smoothly.

How about you? How do you feel about change?

Do you avoid change at any cost, staying in less than optimal situations or relationships just because they are familiar?

Do you make drastic changes yourself: in your living situation, workplace, relationships, perhaps because it feels like a way to control the inevitable? Or because change is more comfortable to you than settling in?

Do you worry in advance about potential changes that could occur, robbing yourself of being in the present?

Do you have a set of coping skills for addressing changes that are predictable? The ability to roll with those that are not?

As with so many things, it is about finding balance. Take a look at your patterns regarding change. Are they serving you? Is there something you can learn? Do you, like me, need to be reminded once again to practice accepting that which you can not control? After all, often on the other side of the change is something even better.

Nothing is permanent but change. —Heraclitus

Change is not merely necessary to life—it is life. —Alvin Toffler

As always, I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Kathleen Young, Psy.D.

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This entry was posted in Complex Trauma, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Psychologist, Relationships, Self-care, Trauma and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Change

  1. still trying says:

    “Be the change you want to see in the world” Mahatma Gandhi

    …a monumental task undertaken silently by so many survivors

  2. shen says:

    This gives me a lot to think about. Change seems to be all there is lately, as the kids grow up and move on. My life feels chaotic and stressful. As I mentioned in my blog today, my marriage has issues that I have allowed to continue for decades… it makes me wonder how much of that is a fear of change.

    • Hi shen-

      Sounds like you are asking yourself some important questions! I am glad if this post helps any in that process. Kids leaving home is a huge transition time; it makes sense that might stir up all sorts of feelings and issues!

  3. Kerro says:

    I start a new job this week, today in fact, which popular media tells me is a pretty big change. I feel utterly sick… I want to crawl back into bed, under the covers, and hide. Rationally I know I’m doing this for all the right reasons, yet I crave the familiarity of the known. I’m trying to tell myself that it’s normal to be nervous when starting a new job, that I’ll be fine, and even repeat my therapist’s words – that they chose ME, above all others, for this job (though I still don’t understand why). As the Little Red Engine said, “I think I can, I think I can…”

    Fingers crossed.

  4. Pingback: Never Not Broken | Dr. Kathleen Young: Treating Trauma

  5. Pingback: Mindful Monday: Change | Dr. Kathleen Young: Treating Trauma in Tucson

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